Joy Part 4 - Joy and Grace

     Grace is getting exactly what you need when you need it.  Grace is always undeserved.  God’s grace is sufficient.  What did Naomi and I need in that moment as we walked down those three endless hallways to meet with the doctor?  We needed grace, we were desperate for grace, we were hopeless without grace.  We both understood  that we didn’t deserve anything in that moment.  The fact that I was a youth pastor, that Naomi was a pastor’s kid, that we both had answered God’s calling in our lives, that we had spent so much of our time serving others didn’t earn us any special privileges when it comes to suffering.  We both were utterly helpless.  Every single one of us is destined to one day die, no one is exempt.  Joy was no different and there is nothing inherent in her that says that she should live more than that one day.  Each day is a gift, in Joy’s case each breath was God’s grace.  She could not at that point in her life had done anything to merit any favor.  So there Naomi and I were, nothing but our “faith as a crutch to lean on”.  That’s all religion is after all, a crutch for the weak minded isn’t it?  It’s sad to think about, in our moments of greatest despair that man’s best attempts are just shouting at the wind.  That however is precisely the point of God’s grace.  It is not man trying to reach God, but God reaching out to man, to give us what we don’t deserve, it’s all we need for every moment.  God’s justice was never called into question in our minds.  We deserved no special treatment from on high at that moment.  We needed God’s grace in that moment just like a thousand other moments we needed it and probably weren’t even paying attention to our helpless needs.  We prayed silently as we walked down the hall and God gave us what we needed even though we didn’t deserve it.  Three feet away from the doctor he finally clued us in as he smirked and said, “Well, that went great.”  Naomi and I almost fell to the ground.  Joy was now hooked up to the ECMO machine, a life support machine that would take over the job of her lungs.  We had no idea how much grace God was going to provide for us in the days ahead.

     Joy was going to need constant care.  Literally there was not a minute that would go by that Joy would not have, not one, but two nurses watching her and her machine constantly.  A constant flow of doctors, nurses, PAs, NNPs, you name it were all hovering over Joy and her ECMO machine.  There were only 3 ECMO machines at Children’s (one was always on reserve in case one of the two in use failed) Joy was able to be put on the ECMO machine right when she needed it – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  All of the right doctors were on shift when Joy was desperately in need and ECMO needed to happen – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  Joy would be put under the care of one of the foremost Neonatal doctors in the country, a man that had been a pioneer in his field for decades – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  We walked down to see Joy in her new room and this giant machine she was attached to.  She was swollen up like a balloon with tubes in her neck, mouth, and chest.  It was a horrible sight.  Joy’s life was in a delicate balance held together by grace that we were only beginning to understand.  An army of people would surround our boys and family for every need above and beyond – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  Thousands of people, all across the country and the world, were logging onto Joy’s Caring Bridge sight and praying for her, crying out to God on her behalf – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  We didn’t know if Joy would ever come off the machine or if she would survive from one day to the next.  We were made well aware that we needed God’s grace each day (like every day of our lives) and Joy needed God’s grace for every breath like we all do.  The hospital had a Ronald McDonald house (all that change really makes a difference) on the same floor as Joy’s hospital room.  God’s grace even allowed us to stay at the hospital with Joy – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  Naomi was able to pump milk and freeze it in the hopes that Joy would one day be able to drink it – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.   Over and over again we would see God’s grace, exactly what we needed when we needed it even though we didn’t deserve it.  Grace took many forms, things that made all the difference like being able to touch Joy, to sing to her, to pray over her or having meals provided at the hospital or a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Words of encouragement from doctors and nurses that indicated slight progress and even at times hope.  There was a constant flow of visitors with whom we would share our prayers and our tears.  I recall at one point a nurse reacting to the constant flow of people meeting with Naomi and I at the hospital.  The nurse said to Naomi, “You have an incredible care network!”  The nurse may not of realized it but that is God’s grace.

     The Bible speaks very deeply about grace and our need for it through every circumstance. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Philippians 4:12-13 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

     How about you? Do you desire God’s grace in your life for each day, for each breath, through all your suffering as well as your times of exhilaration?  How can you get something that you don’t deserve and can’t earn?  You can begin by simply crying out to God.   “God I need You.  I’m hopeless without You.”