Joy pt. 1 "Oops"

I heard someone say once that if you wanted to make God laugh, then you should tell Him your plans.  Naomi and I have each had many plans for our individual lives.  I had a plan to become a professional football player and Naomi to sing duets with Sandi Patty and Amy Grant.  How funny those plans must have been to an eternal God who sees all things past, present and future.  That is not to say we did not seek God for our future.  I remember praying A LOT for a Godly wife.  Naomi remembers praying for God’s direction on whether to go to Moody Bible Institute or go to Concordia on scholarship.  There were several situations in our lives for which we asked God to direct our steps.  When we got married, our individual plans were now attached at the hip to each other.  For many couples, this can be a source of tension and even division, not so with Naomi and me.  We were satisfied to go where God led us—together.  We did, however, have our moments of doubt.  After graduating Moody, I was working as a security guard in the city of Chicago and Naomi was a waitress in the suburbs.  “God, is this the reason you wanted us to go to Moody?” we would ask.  We were content to be a Godly security guard, waitress, or whatever He wanted, but it still seemed confusing at the time. 

We  realized we were so young when we look back on those first few years together.  We had just enough wisdom to survive and only by God’s grace have we made it thus far.  We had ideas of the home we would live in, the jobs we would have and what our future family would be like.  When God called us into ministry, we were so thrilled, humbled and anxious.  We knew enough to ask others to keep praying for us.  Praise God that they interceded on our behalf.  We had a desire to start a family together.  We didn’t pray about it, we just started trying.  After all, we knew God’s blessing that comes through children.  Unfortunately, we had a hard time getting pregnant.  Now we started to pray, “God will you help us get pregnant?”  After Dr. Love (no lie, that was his name) performed a minor surgery on Jim, Naomi got pregnant a short time later.  Josiah was born in December 1998.  However, Josiah needed a sibling, we thought, so in May 2001, Jesse was born. 

This was an anxious time for our country (Sept. 2001) and our lives.  It was during the next two years that we started praying for God’s direction for our futures.  We sensed that God might be calling us out of our church to something else.  I remember being very frustrated with ministry and frustrated that God had not made our next steps clear.  I wanted to be faithful in the moments but was constantly thinking about what may be next.  Naomi was feeling it too.  Finally, in the summer of 2003, I had enough.  I felt like I was trying to live two lives.  I was so consumed with wrestling with the questions of what may be next that I had less and less focus on the here and now.  I had stopped surrendering my “todays” to God and I was dictating to Him my “tomorrows”.    At the beginning of the summer of 2003, I remember making a very conscious decision to live for God in the “todays”.  I remember surrendering my “todays” and “tomorrows” to God.  I soon found a peace and contentment about my present as well as my future.  God used a worship leader conference that summer in Naomi’s life and a conference I was attending with students to grab our attention.  There were some more things He wanted us each to surrender.  We did surrender and God moved in our lives and opened the doors for our future ministry at our current church.  God called us to a new church.  God's timing was perfect - we couldn't have planned it better if we had tried. 

Naomi wanted more children , but I felt like we were done.  I came from a small family with only one sibling and Naomi had three siblings.  We talked about it but not really coming to an agreement.  Naomi got the desire of her heart and Jacob was born in January 2006.  I remember apologizing to Naomi repeatedly.  How could I ever have NOT wanted another child?  Our family was now five —mom, dad, and the JCrew (Josiah, Jesse and Jacob).  That was it.  That would be our family.  Naomi was 35, Jim 37, Josiah 12, Jesse 10 and Jacob was  5.  Naomi and I were both looking forward to the freedoms of having older children.  We started making new plans together.  God was smiling.  Both Naomi and I were stunned when she missed her period, but not nearly as stunned as we would be to hear the ultrasound technician say, “It’s a girl”.  

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  Isaiah 55:8