Joy Part 2 "It's a girl!"

A pregnant woman needs a lot of patience. There is a lot changes going on internally and lot she is faced with externally that can put any woman to the test. Externally, for example, there is a long list of annoying things people ask you or say to you during a pregnancy. Externally people are often well meaning in their attempt converse with a pregnant woman but encouragement isn’t high on their list of gifts. Some questions are standard and get asked over and over again: 1. When are you due? 2. Do you know what you are having? 3. Are the siblings excited? These questions can be expected but the quantity of the same questions can be overwhelming on any given day. On the other hand some of things people say are outrageously rude: 1. You are really starting to show now. 2. You look so tired, are you ok? 3. Wow, you look REALLY BIG, when are you going to pop? There should be a pamphlet or business card that every pregnant woman could carry around with her. Before people decided to open their big mouths, she could hand them a card with all the answers and some advice on what not to say to her. Do people even realize what is going on internally on a physical, mental and emotional level with this woman? Clearly they do not because through all four of our pregnancies Naomi had to face the bombardment of these questions over and over again.



The fourth pregnancy had to almost set Naomi over the edge. After having three boys, we should have been prepared for the countless questions regarding the gender of our expected fourth child. I could see behind Naomi’s smile as people asked, “Do you hope you are having a girl?” that there was a volcano just waiting to erupt. I would rescue her as often as I could, but the onslaught for her was relentless. We both felt like screaming at the top of our lungs, “Of course we do not really care if it is a boy or a girl!” Of all the things to be concerned about during a pregnancy, gender was very low on our list. Naomi failed her glucose test which meant changing her diet radically, checking her blood sugar and going on medication. She had a lot on her mind to take care of the precious child and she was becoming weary of the questioning.


With the exception of our 2nd child, we have found out the gender of all of our children prior to the birth. Naomi loves to be surprised. I like to be prepared. She sometimes asks me while I’m snooping around the house for Christmas presents, “Don’t you want to be surprised?” I say, “Yes I want to be surprised. I just want to be surprised EARLIER than you do.” Having a fourth child was surprise enough for both of us. We had long since given away all of our infant stuff (crib, stroller, high chair, car seat, toys, clothes, changing table etc.). We had arranged our home for our family of 5. So, with the surprise of being pregnant again, we both felt like we needed as much info on this baby as early as we could.


Jesus talks about our desires verses God’s desires, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt 6:33-34 NIV). I paraphrase that verse for the students in our ministry, “Want what God wants, and then He will give you what you want.” Make your desires God’s desires and then He will give you what you desire. There have been plenty of times in my life, however, that I didn’t know what I wanted. I recall a few times as a young man that I was confident that a particular girl was the right one for me. I look back and I can see how I didn’t know what I wanted and so I’m thankful that I didn’t get what I thought I wanted. That is God’s grace. We don’t deserve that kind of sovereign interaction in our lives, but yet He does incredible things in our lives to help direct our steps towards His will.


People ask me about my call to ministry. “When did you know you wanted to go into youth ministry, to be a pastor?” I tell them that I didn’t know until I was already a youth pastor that I wanted to be a youth pastor. I remember very clearly as a junior in high school on a bus ride from Minnesota to Mexico two of the youth interns at our church talking to me. “Jim, what do you want to do with your life?” I told them that I didn’t know. “We think you should go into ministry,” they said. I thought that would be fine. Then they asked me where I was going to go to college. I told them that I didn’t know. They said I should go to Moody, and I agreed. That’s it, that’s my call to ministry. I didn’t know that is what I wanted, but God did. Years later, after I graduated from Moody, a pastor asked me to be the youth pastor at his church. Naomi and I prayed about it and we sensed that was God’s will for us. I had no idea that God was giving me the desires of my heart before I understood those desires.


I remember Naomi calling me after her ultrasound appointment. I could tell she was very emotional. I immediately thought that something was wrong. “What did the technician say? Is everything ok with the baby?” I asked her. Through the sobs, Naomi said some words I was not prepared to hear, “It’s a girl.” By now, Naomi and I were professionals at raising boys (i.e. managing chaos). I knew my roll with the boys and I felt like I was prepared to help them (having been a male for all of my life). “A girl!?” I thought. I felt like I was starting parenting all over again, totally unprepared. I gathered myself and asked Naomi, “Why are you crying, what’s wrong?” Naomi went on to tell me that nothing was wrong. She was overwhelmed with the joy of having a girl. She didn’t know that having a girl was important to her until she realized she was going to have one. God was giving each of us the desires of our hearts before we knew what they were.

How about you?  Have you handed over your desires to God?  Do you want what He wants?  If you do, He will give you what you want.