Joy Part 5 - It's Not About Me

There is a sickness that has infected our society and sadly theology.  This sickness can be called by many different names but it carries with it the same consequences regardless of its label.  It may be called humanism, materialism, narcissism, selfishness, or entitlement.  Its impact on people’s lives is the same.  Imagine if the world in which you thought you knew and understood was suddenly turned upside down.  Everything you thought you knew so well was now completely backwards.  You’d have no sense of balance, depth perception, or any ability to accomplish basic survival functions.  That is precisely what it is like to go through something as traumatic as what we experience with Joy.  How were we able to navigate through that storm and why are so many people overwhelmed when difficult circumstances arise in life.  To answer that question I’d have to bring you back many years.  I’d like to take you back to the 1600s and introduce you to a man named Galileo.  Galileo proposed a crazy idea that the Earth was not the center of the Solar System and in fact the planets revolved around the Sun and not around the Earth as was previously believed.  Galileo was considered a radical, branded a heretic and placed under house arrest for the remainder of his life.  Humanism, materialism, narcissism, selfishness or entitlement all support the same “Earthcentric” view of the universe.  The world revolves around “me”.  Therefore, when hardships hit our lives when can no longer reconcile why the sun, the moon and the stars are not bowing down to us as they are supposed to and we cry out, “But that's not fair! I deserve better than this.  Why is this happening to me? “

This is part of what Joy “wrote” while she was in the hospital:

I've heard my brother's argue more than a few times with each other when things are not fair.  Toys, space, meals, where to sit, they really want what they think is fair to them.  “God has placed within each of us a sense for justice”, I've heard my daddy say.  We understand when we are being cheated or taken advantage of or when someone gets what they don't deserve - that's not fair.  People typically only want justice however when it doesn't apply to them.  We want others to be punished when they do something wrong but we want the police man to let us off the hook when we get pulled over.  We also get confused because we think we deserve (entitlement) so many things.  We deserve a vacation.  We deserve some time off.  We deserve a break.  We deserve to be loved and treated with respect.  When we don't get what we think deserve we say that's not fair.  Does that make sense?

Some of you may be wondering why this is happening to me.  What did Joy do to deserve this?  What did she do wrong?  Do you know the disciples asked this very same question when they were talking to Jesus about a man born blind in John 9.  They asked Jesus who sinned, his parents or the man while he was still in the womb.  Someone must have done something bad for this bad thing to happen to this man, isn't that right?  Jesus' answer may help you understand the peace that my mom and dad have through these past few days. 

"'Neither this man nor his parents sinned,' said Jesus, 'but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.'" John 9:3

The disciples were asking the question from the wrong point of view.  Do you remember a time when people thought that the earth was the center of the universe?  How everything revolved around earth?  They must have come up with a lot of bad conclusions about the things they observed because they started with this wrong assumption.  I (Joy) am not the center of the universe.  I exist, and so do my mom and dad, so that the work of God might be displayed in my life.  God is the center.  It’s all about Him.  My life exists so that I may have the opportunity to worship my creator, regardless of my circumstances, by submitting to His will.  (Romans 12:1-3).

Why do I mention this to you?  Well you might be tempted to point your fingers at God when things don't go the way you want in life.  You say - that's not fair!  You should know that you have committed an offense.  That offense is called sin.  You've been selfish, you've lied, you've....(the list goes on doesn't it).  Everyone single one of us have sinned and therefore we've committed an offense and that offense deserves punishment - justice must be served.  God is just - He will bring evil under judgment.  When you watch the news and see all the evil (rape, murder, abuse etc.) - you want God to deliver justice -right now - right away - they deserve, everyone that is, except for you or me, right?  God judging sin - that is fair - that is just - that's what I deserve.

But that's not the end of the story.

God also has an incredible love.  We don't deserve it.  His mercy is unbelievable.  We don't deserve it.  His grace is amazing.  We don't deserve it.  God put the judgment we deserved on His son, Jesus Christ.  THAT'S NOT FAIR!  Jesus didn't do anything to deserve that.  That's why they call Him savior.

God didn't send Jesus into the world to condemn it but He sent Jesus into this world because of His astounding love that whosoever believes would not come under judgment but under His grace.  We don't deserve that - that's not fair. (John 3:16-17)

As you read this and see all the people crying out to the Lord on my behalf don't lose your focus on the God who listens.  You too may have a life that brings Him glory, that His works may be displayed in your life.  Regardless of your life's circumstances you will have centered the universe back on the author of life, the creator, not the creation.  If you today would call on the name of Jesus as your savior.  If you would confess your sin before our awesome, holy, merciful God and receive the gift / grace that He offers through Jesus Christ.  You too would be the object of His incredible work in your life - you don't deserve that - that's not fair.  But that is the point of grace.  God loves you and He loves me (Joy).  Every day I live I want it to bring Him glory to worship Him to put Him at the center because He is just, He is loving, He is merciful, He is full of grace.  Would you call on the name of Jesus today / tonight as your Savior?  Would you commit to put God at the center of the universe again - to put Him back in the driver’s seat - to stop going your way and go His way (repent) and to call on Jesus as the Lord of your life.  If you would - today you would begin to understand why I (Joy) am going through this.

Joy Part 4 - Joy and Grace

     Grace is getting exactly what you need when you need it.  Grace is always undeserved.  God’s grace is sufficient.  What did Naomi and I need in that moment as we walked down those three endless hallways to meet with the doctor?  We needed grace, we were desperate for grace, we were hopeless without grace.  We both understood  that we didn’t deserve anything in that moment.  The fact that I was a youth pastor, that Naomi was a pastor’s kid, that we both had answered God’s calling in our lives, that we had spent so much of our time serving others didn’t earn us any special privileges when it comes to suffering.  We both were utterly helpless.  Every single one of us is destined to one day die, no one is exempt.  Joy was no different and there is nothing inherent in her that says that she should live more than that one day.  Each day is a gift, in Joy’s case each breath was God’s grace.  She could not at that point in her life had done anything to merit any favor.  So there Naomi and I were, nothing but our “faith as a crutch to lean on”.  That’s all religion is after all, a crutch for the weak minded isn’t it?  It’s sad to think about, in our moments of greatest despair that man’s best attempts are just shouting at the wind.  That however is precisely the point of God’s grace.  It is not man trying to reach God, but God reaching out to man, to give us what we don’t deserve, it’s all we need for every moment.  God’s justice was never called into question in our minds.  We deserved no special treatment from on high at that moment.  We needed God’s grace in that moment just like a thousand other moments we needed it and probably weren’t even paying attention to our helpless needs.  We prayed silently as we walked down the hall and God gave us what we needed even though we didn’t deserve it.  Three feet away from the doctor he finally clued us in as he smirked and said, “Well, that went great.”  Naomi and I almost fell to the ground.  Joy was now hooked up to the ECMO machine, a life support machine that would take over the job of her lungs.  We had no idea how much grace God was going to provide for us in the days ahead.

     Joy was going to need constant care.  Literally there was not a minute that would go by that Joy would not have, not one, but two nurses watching her and her machine constantly.  A constant flow of doctors, nurses, PAs, NNPs, you name it were all hovering over Joy and her ECMO machine.  There were only 3 ECMO machines at Children’s (one was always on reserve in case one of the two in use failed) Joy was able to be put on the ECMO machine right when she needed it – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  All of the right doctors were on shift when Joy was desperately in need and ECMO needed to happen – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  Joy would be put under the care of one of the foremost Neonatal doctors in the country, a man that had been a pioneer in his field for decades – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  We walked down to see Joy in her new room and this giant machine she was attached to.  She was swollen up like a balloon with tubes in her neck, mouth, and chest.  It was a horrible sight.  Joy’s life was in a delicate balance held together by grace that we were only beginning to understand.  An army of people would surround our boys and family for every need above and beyond – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  Thousands of people, all across the country and the world, were logging onto Joy’s Caring Bridge sight and praying for her, crying out to God on her behalf – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  We didn’t know if Joy would ever come off the machine or if she would survive from one day to the next.  We were made well aware that we needed God’s grace each day (like every day of our lives) and Joy needed God’s grace for every breath like we all do.  The hospital had a Ronald McDonald house (all that change really makes a difference) on the same floor as Joy’s hospital room.  God’s grace even allowed us to stay at the hospital with Joy – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.  Naomi was able to pump milk and freeze it in the hopes that Joy would one day be able to drink it – GRACE – we didn’t deserve that.   Over and over again we would see God’s grace, exactly what we needed when we needed it even though we didn’t deserve it.  Grace took many forms, things that made all the difference like being able to touch Joy, to sing to her, to pray over her or having meals provided at the hospital or a beautiful bouquet of flowers.  Words of encouragement from doctors and nurses that indicated slight progress and even at times hope.  There was a constant flow of visitors with whom we would share our prayers and our tears.  I recall at one point a nurse reacting to the constant flow of people meeting with Naomi and I at the hospital.  The nurse said to Naomi, “You have an incredible care network!”  The nurse may not of realized it but that is God’s grace.

     The Bible speaks very deeply about grace and our need for it through every circumstance. 

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Philippians 4:12-13 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

     How about you? Do you desire God’s grace in your life for each day, for each breath, through all your suffering as well as your times of exhilaration?  How can you get something that you don’t deserve and can’t earn?  You can begin by simply crying out to God.   “God I need You.  I’m hopeless without You.”

Joy Part 3 The Dark Night of the Soul

By Naomi Barringer
June 1st 2011 I woke up at 5:30 A.M. I realized that my water had broke. I was exactly 37 weeks. I called my midwife, Dawn, and she said to come in within an hour to an hour and a half. I went to wake up Jim who had gotten up in the middle of the night to help Jacob. Jake had a bloody nose and Jim had fallen back asleep next to Jake on his bed. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “My water just broke” he casually laughed and said, “shut up”. I assured him that I was not kidding and he immediately bolted out of bed. We had nothing prepared for the hospital and so we both worked to quickly pack a bag. I took a shower & kept thinking to myself, “This can’t be happening!” My mother was in Nebraska spending time with my sister and her husband. We called our neighbor Stephanie across the street, who has 5 of her own children, and she gladly agreed to come over to watch our boys until Jim’s mother could arrive from Buffalo, MN.



We arrived at the hospital & and I still was not in any pain so we tried to get things going by walking up and down the halls, bouncing on the birthing ball, laying in the bathtub etc. At 2 PM, over 8 hours after my water broke, I let them give me Pitocin to help move the labor along. The baby was posterior (face up) which complicated the labor. I labored for 4 ½ more hours until Joy Dianne arrived at 6:36 P.M. I pushed her out while on my hands and knees & pulled her up through my legs. I immediately thought she looked just like our Jacob James. She was full of “cottage cheese” & didn’t cry at all. I was so thankful to have her out that I didn’t think anything of it. My mother had arrived just in time, after driving 7 hours straight, to be there when Joy was born. I was proud to tell her that Joy’s middle name, Dianne, was because of her.


The nurse took her to check her out and tired to get her to cry a bit, she did a little, but still no one realized anything was wrong. Joy nursed on both sides which was beautiful and wonderful! When they checked her blood sugar it was very low – 24 – it should be above 45. I had gestational diabetes so they had some concerns for Joy as well. They said they needed to give her some formula orally. However when they attempted to feed her they noticed her breathing was labored. Our nurse called in another nurse just as our boys and Jim’s mom were arriving to see Joy. It was a real scary time for the boys to be in the room and they were only able to see her a few minutes before they quickly took her to the level 2 nursery at St. Francis. Most of the initial concern for Joy was that she may have been fighting an infection because of the group B strep that I had tested positive for in pregnancy. I went to see her in the nursery and wept when I saw that they had her hooked up to oxygen. The nurses told us that if Joy’s condition didn’t rapidly change that they would have to take her by ambulance to Children’s Hospital in Minneapolis. They were not equipped to handle Joy’s needs at St. Francis.


Joy’s condition did not improve and in fact, it steadily got worse. A team came from Children’s hospital to transport Joy. They arrived around 10 PM (3-4 hours after Joy was born) with four people and a lot of equipment. I was overwhelmed. Physically I was exhausted after just giving birth and emotionally I was a wreck. “What in the world was going on?” I had to sit down. Jim took me back to the room. The hospital agreed to discharge me so I could be with Joy and Jim in the hospital at Children’s. When we arrived at Children’s around midnight the ambulance still hadn’t arrived. Both Jim and I felt a sense of dread. “What if she didn’t make it? What if we weren’t there with her?” We sat in the hallway of the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) waiting for what seemed to be an eternity. Why was this happening? I began to second-guess everything in my pregnancy. Every detail was running through my mind. What could I have done differently?


The elevator doors opened and there they were wheeling a cart with Joy in her incubator / oxygen machine on it. Angela, who was a neonatal nurse practitioner, stopped by and talked with us. She told us that she had trouble with Joy’s oxygen / breathing & she was under such distress that they had to intubate her. We later found out that she had a pulmonary hemorrhage (bleeding from the lung) as a result of trying to get so much oxygen into her lungs. We finally got into Joy’s room with a team of people working on her. We were inundated with paper work and information. One of the doctors came in and said that Joy probably had an infection and that we would be here a week at the most but that she would ok – whew! Finally, we felt some relief.


We were told that we could stay in the room with Joy. They had a couch that folded out for Jim and me to sleep on. There was no room at the Ronald McDonald house (on the same floor as Joy’s intensive care room) and they had to prioritize those rooms based on needs of families. A social worker came and asked us what she could do for us. She was a wonderful advocate and explained all the wonderful things that Children’s offers to support families while they are with their children in the hospital. She gave us a $45 gift card for the Starz Café that the hospital provides for nursing / pumping mothers, a discount on parking, a breast pump to use, and evening meals at the Ronald McDonald house. Oh my goodness, what a blessing & amazing provision in our time of need. She also offered to look into getting us a night or two in the Ronald McDonald house if a room opened up but explained again they had to prioritize rooms based on need. Both Jim and I were so exhausted but we felt we could rest knowing that Joy was going to be ok. We tried to sleep on the futon but we were both restless – sick to our stomachs due to the traumatic events of the last 6 hours. I started praying right away. Wednesday night flowed into early Thursday morning and Jim and I got moments of sleep throughout the early morning hours.


Thursday was the worst day of my life to date. It was a roller coaster of information and emotions as things spiraled out of control throughout the day. One of the doctors had come by early in the morning to explain that Joy had something called pulmonary hypertension but not to look that up because it would freak us out. At the time, they considered Joy’s case mild and not one of the more drastic versions of pulmonary hypertension. It was a serious problem but the doctor didn’t want us to be unnecessarily concerned –whew – another glimpse of hope. They felt they were still able to help Joy recover and that she would be ok. Joy’s condition however got steadily worse. The doctors and nurses kept having to turn up Joy’s ventilator more and more until they couldn’t turn it up anymore. She developed a pneumothorax (hole in her lung) and one of her lungs had collapsed. They had to put a chest tube in her to let the air out. They told us that would help solve the problem. But Joy got worse.


It all came to head late in the afternoon on Thursday. We were in the room with Joy and one of her nurses. (There was never a single second while Joy was in the hospital when there wasn’t at least one nurse in her room looking over her constantly, not a second. The care Joy received was nothing short of extraordinary. Most of the time there were two or three people looking over Joy and taking care of her.) The nurse who was in the room at the time very calmly said to us, “I’m going to push a button & lots of people are going to come into the room now.” She pressed the button and people from all over came running to Joy’s room. CODE BLUE! They were losing her. Jim and I had to leave her room. We saw the look of concern on the nurses and doctor’s faces as we walked down the hall to find a place to sit. We waited.


The doctor came out to inform us that Joy’s condition was even more serious now. She had the most extreme case of pulmonary hypertension. Most of these medical words Jim and I had no idea what they were talking about. In the moments we had between doctors and nurses we would read pamphlets and look up definitions, risks and treatments for all the things they were telling us about Joy. The doctor said they could not keep ventilating her. We were going to have to make a decision, very quick. She told us that were going to have to put her on ECMO or “she wasn’t going to make it.” That was the first time we heard the words that we had been fearing in our hearts. Weeping does not adequately explain what we did and how we felt. We had no idea what ECMO was. Through our tears we quickly tried to read some information the doctor handed us to help us make our decision. ECMO (Extracorporeal Membrane Oxygenation) would become a lung bypass for Joy. They were going to operate on our infant girl, put two tubes into her neck. This machine would take over for Joy’s lungs. Instead of Joy’s lungs putting oxygen in her blood and taking carbon dioxide out her blood the ECMO machine would do it for her while her lungs remained dormant and hopefully healed.


The procedure and ECMO both carried with them considerable life threatening risks but we had no other option. It was either risk ECMO or Joy had no chance at all. We gave our consent and they said we could see her before they prepped her for surgery. Before that point we were not allowed to touch her but now Leann (our nurse on the horrific day) said to touch her. We touched her and prayed over her. We felt they were helping us to say goodbye to her. How does one convey enough love a parent has for their children in a few minutes with just a light touch? We cried (my tears were falling all over her), we prayed and we tried to hug her. They whisked us away and the doctor made sure that we were aware of the awful risks (brain damage, brain bleeds, seizures, hearing loss and often death). There was nothing we could do. It was up to God now.


By now, there was literally an army of people praying. The prayer network that developed for Joy was astonishing. We went down to the living room of the Ronald McDonald house to wait. We were joined there by my parents, Jim’s mom, his step dad, his dad, his brother and Tim and Sharon Whitmore. We sat there as we were praying tears flooded my face but truly God’s presence was filling my soul. My dad has long talked about something called the “dark night of the soul” the darkest moments are lives where God doesn’t calm the storm but calms His child. It is a peace that can only be experienced when all hope in self or man is absent and can only be found in Him. It is those moments where relationship with our heavenly father distances itself from man’s mere religions. While we were praying the manager of the Ronald McDonald house interrupted us and let us know that the doctor wanted to see us. That was the longest, most sobering walk of my life down three hallways to meet with the doctor. The last hallway seemed a mile long. At the end of the hallway we could see the doctor standing alone. We were trying to examine the doctor’s face and body language as we approached him. Our feet felt heavy. We didn’t know whether to run to find out the news or to run the other way.


Ps 144:3-4 “O LORD, what is man that You care for him, the son of man that You think of him? Man is like a breath; his days are like a fleeting shadow.” (NIV)

Joy Part 2 "It's a girl!"

A pregnant woman needs a lot of patience. There is a lot changes going on internally and lot she is faced with externally that can put any woman to the test. Externally, for example, there is a long list of annoying things people ask you or say to you during a pregnancy. Externally people are often well meaning in their attempt converse with a pregnant woman but encouragement isn’t high on their list of gifts. Some questions are standard and get asked over and over again: 1. When are you due? 2. Do you know what you are having? 3. Are the siblings excited? These questions can be expected but the quantity of the same questions can be overwhelming on any given day. On the other hand some of things people say are outrageously rude: 1. You are really starting to show now. 2. You look so tired, are you ok? 3. Wow, you look REALLY BIG, when are you going to pop? There should be a pamphlet or business card that every pregnant woman could carry around with her. Before people decided to open their big mouths, she could hand them a card with all the answers and some advice on what not to say to her. Do people even realize what is going on internally on a physical, mental and emotional level with this woman? Clearly they do not because through all four of our pregnancies Naomi had to face the bombardment of these questions over and over again.



The fourth pregnancy had to almost set Naomi over the edge. After having three boys, we should have been prepared for the countless questions regarding the gender of our expected fourth child. I could see behind Naomi’s smile as people asked, “Do you hope you are having a girl?” that there was a volcano just waiting to erupt. I would rescue her as often as I could, but the onslaught for her was relentless. We both felt like screaming at the top of our lungs, “Of course we do not really care if it is a boy or a girl!” Of all the things to be concerned about during a pregnancy, gender was very low on our list. Naomi failed her glucose test which meant changing her diet radically, checking her blood sugar and going on medication. She had a lot on her mind to take care of the precious child and she was becoming weary of the questioning.


With the exception of our 2nd child, we have found out the gender of all of our children prior to the birth. Naomi loves to be surprised. I like to be prepared. She sometimes asks me while I’m snooping around the house for Christmas presents, “Don’t you want to be surprised?” I say, “Yes I want to be surprised. I just want to be surprised EARLIER than you do.” Having a fourth child was surprise enough for both of us. We had long since given away all of our infant stuff (crib, stroller, high chair, car seat, toys, clothes, changing table etc.). We had arranged our home for our family of 5. So, with the surprise of being pregnant again, we both felt like we needed as much info on this baby as early as we could.


Jesus talks about our desires verses God’s desires, “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt 6:33-34 NIV). I paraphrase that verse for the students in our ministry, “Want what God wants, and then He will give you what you want.” Make your desires God’s desires and then He will give you what you desire. There have been plenty of times in my life, however, that I didn’t know what I wanted. I recall a few times as a young man that I was confident that a particular girl was the right one for me. I look back and I can see how I didn’t know what I wanted and so I’m thankful that I didn’t get what I thought I wanted. That is God’s grace. We don’t deserve that kind of sovereign interaction in our lives, but yet He does incredible things in our lives to help direct our steps towards His will.


People ask me about my call to ministry. “When did you know you wanted to go into youth ministry, to be a pastor?” I tell them that I didn’t know until I was already a youth pastor that I wanted to be a youth pastor. I remember very clearly as a junior in high school on a bus ride from Minnesota to Mexico two of the youth interns at our church talking to me. “Jim, what do you want to do with your life?” I told them that I didn’t know. “We think you should go into ministry,” they said. I thought that would be fine. Then they asked me where I was going to go to college. I told them that I didn’t know. They said I should go to Moody, and I agreed. That’s it, that’s my call to ministry. I didn’t know that is what I wanted, but God did. Years later, after I graduated from Moody, a pastor asked me to be the youth pastor at his church. Naomi and I prayed about it and we sensed that was God’s will for us. I had no idea that God was giving me the desires of my heart before I understood those desires.


I remember Naomi calling me after her ultrasound appointment. I could tell she was very emotional. I immediately thought that something was wrong. “What did the technician say? Is everything ok with the baby?” I asked her. Through the sobs, Naomi said some words I was not prepared to hear, “It’s a girl.” By now, Naomi and I were professionals at raising boys (i.e. managing chaos). I knew my roll with the boys and I felt like I was prepared to help them (having been a male for all of my life). “A girl!?” I thought. I felt like I was starting parenting all over again, totally unprepared. I gathered myself and asked Naomi, “Why are you crying, what’s wrong?” Naomi went on to tell me that nothing was wrong. She was overwhelmed with the joy of having a girl. She didn’t know that having a girl was important to her until she realized she was going to have one. God was giving each of us the desires of our hearts before we knew what they were.

How about you?  Have you handed over your desires to God?  Do you want what He wants?  If you do, He will give you what you want. 

Joy pt. 1 "Oops"

I heard someone say once that if you wanted to make God laugh, then you should tell Him your plans.  Naomi and I have each had many plans for our individual lives.  I had a plan to become a professional football player and Naomi to sing duets with Sandi Patty and Amy Grant.  How funny those plans must have been to an eternal God who sees all things past, present and future.  That is not to say we did not seek God for our future.  I remember praying A LOT for a Godly wife.  Naomi remembers praying for God’s direction on whether to go to Moody Bible Institute or go to Concordia on scholarship.  There were several situations in our lives for which we asked God to direct our steps.  When we got married, our individual plans were now attached at the hip to each other.  For many couples, this can be a source of tension and even division, not so with Naomi and me.  We were satisfied to go where God led us—together.  We did, however, have our moments of doubt.  After graduating Moody, I was working as a security guard in the city of Chicago and Naomi was a waitress in the suburbs.  “God, is this the reason you wanted us to go to Moody?” we would ask.  We were content to be a Godly security guard, waitress, or whatever He wanted, but it still seemed confusing at the time. 

We  realized we were so young when we look back on those first few years together.  We had just enough wisdom to survive and only by God’s grace have we made it thus far.  We had ideas of the home we would live in, the jobs we would have and what our future family would be like.  When God called us into ministry, we were so thrilled, humbled and anxious.  We knew enough to ask others to keep praying for us.  Praise God that they interceded on our behalf.  We had a desire to start a family together.  We didn’t pray about it, we just started trying.  After all, we knew God’s blessing that comes through children.  Unfortunately, we had a hard time getting pregnant.  Now we started to pray, “God will you help us get pregnant?”  After Dr. Love (no lie, that was his name) performed a minor surgery on Jim, Naomi got pregnant a short time later.  Josiah was born in December 1998.  However, Josiah needed a sibling, we thought, so in May 2001, Jesse was born. 

This was an anxious time for our country (Sept. 2001) and our lives.  It was during the next two years that we started praying for God’s direction for our futures.  We sensed that God might be calling us out of our church to something else.  I remember being very frustrated with ministry and frustrated that God had not made our next steps clear.  I wanted to be faithful in the moments but was constantly thinking about what may be next.  Naomi was feeling it too.  Finally, in the summer of 2003, I had enough.  I felt like I was trying to live two lives.  I was so consumed with wrestling with the questions of what may be next that I had less and less focus on the here and now.  I had stopped surrendering my “todays” to God and I was dictating to Him my “tomorrows”.    At the beginning of the summer of 2003, I remember making a very conscious decision to live for God in the “todays”.  I remember surrendering my “todays” and “tomorrows” to God.  I soon found a peace and contentment about my present as well as my future.  God used a worship leader conference that summer in Naomi’s life and a conference I was attending with students to grab our attention.  There were some more things He wanted us each to surrender.  We did surrender and God moved in our lives and opened the doors for our future ministry at our current church.  God called us to a new church.  God's timing was perfect - we couldn't have planned it better if we had tried. 

Naomi wanted more children , but I felt like we were done.  I came from a small family with only one sibling and Naomi had three siblings.  We talked about it but not really coming to an agreement.  Naomi got the desire of her heart and Jacob was born in January 2006.  I remember apologizing to Naomi repeatedly.  How could I ever have NOT wanted another child?  Our family was now five —mom, dad, and the JCrew (Josiah, Jesse and Jacob).  That was it.  That would be our family.  Naomi was 35, Jim 37, Josiah 12, Jesse 10 and Jacob was  5.  Naomi and I were both looking forward to the freedoms of having older children.  We started making new plans together.  God was smiling.  Both Naomi and I were stunned when she missed her period, but not nearly as stunned as we would be to hear the ultrasound technician say, “It’s a girl”.  

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD.  Isaiah 55:8

How should I reach out to my friend of another faith?

This is the 2nd question from one of our students at Youth Alpha 2011.

Question #2 How should I reach out to my friend of another faith?

How do dinosaurs fit into the Bible?

This was the first question we received from the Youth Alpha Class 2011. Our desire is that we would post the question and then interact with the responses.

Question #1 How do dinosaurs fit into the Bible?